My Mother Dearest
Now that you know a little something about me, I’d like to introduce you to my mother. My mom is that lovely lady above. You may recognize her from some of my ads. Here’s some other fun facts about her:
- She has been a contestant on five different game shows. She has won once and accused the competition of cheating the other four times.
- My mom once sent pictures of herself to the Seinfeld producers in hopes of being cast as Kramer’s sister.
- My mom has a picture of the family dog in her wallet but none of her two children.
- She uses the term “bitchin” to describe something cool and “biatch” to describe someone mean.
- She rocked an afro in the ’80s.
- She laughs at all her own jokes.
- She always mispronounces peoples’ names.
- She is convinced that I’ll be the greatest copywriter ever even though she has no idea what a copywriter is.
- She would like to discuss my qualifications with you.
This is my mother, the woman who raised me.